Are you serious, lady?

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
JEREMY BROOMFIELD, blogger, father-to-be
A RECEPTIONIST at Mid-Coast Hospital in Brunswick, Maine

JEREMY: Hi there, my name is Jeremy Broomfield. May I please speak to Natalie Rockwell?
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, she's not in today. Would you like to leave a message?
JER: Well, you can probably help me. Natalie is the midwife who will deliver our baby in July, but before we meet with her, she asked us to send my wife Bridget's medical records. I've got the documents scanned and I just need her email address.
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: What?
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: Oh, I heard you. I just meant "what are you talking about?"
RCP: We don't have email in the hospital. Well, we have it within the hospital, but email can't go in or out.
JER: But that's... crazy.
RCP: You can send her a fax.
JER: A fax, you say. Well, maybe. But in order to find a fax machine, I might also need a time machine.
RCP: ...
JER: Okay, fine, sorry. I know the policy is not your fault. Wait, is it?
RCP: No.
JER: Okay. Thanks!

- END -

 Below, my new fax cover sheet.

Final Regular Ultrasound

But first, here's a backlogged picture of Bridget and the dog:

29 weeks, 5 days, 1 leetle Poopanz

It's getting hotter in Arizona for real, with afternoon temps in the mid-90s. This is the time of year I start having to take multiple showers a day just to feel human. Bridget, meanwhile — who generally loves hot weather, sunshine, warm air, and long walks on the beach — is finding her pregnant self feeling overheated on the regular. Feelin' faint. A little woozy. Thirsty.

Which seems to me like she's finally coming to her senses. At last she can relate to how I feel anytime the temperature rises above 80°. But she feels deeply unnerved by the change. Sort of. 

But then she goes into the nursery and feels great!

32 weeks, 1 combination washer/dryer

Yesterday during the ultrasound, Dr. Rolle could barely restrain himself from telling us the sex of the baby, but he somehow managed it. Here's a face:

 ...and here's some feet and maybe a hand:

The baby is 4lbs 10oz at the moment, and a little bigger than expected (reading at 33w5d instead of 32w1d) but that's fine. Bridget's blood pressure is 102/58, which makes the OB swoon with joy. Everything that we ask about as a potential problem or concern is "fine, perfect, totally normal," according Dr. Rolle. The placenta is working just fine. The baby is hiccuping, which means its diaphragm is working — a sign that breathing will come naturally(!). The baby is head-down. The baby's pulse is 142bpm. Bridget is, shockingly, drinking enough water.

So far so good!