DRAMATIS PERSONAE
JEREMY BROOMFIELD, blogger, father-to-be
A RECEPTIONIST at Mid-Coast Hospital in Brunswick, Maine
JEREMY: Hi there, my name is Jeremy Broomfield. May I please speak to Natalie Rockwell?
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, she's not in today. Would you like to leave a message?
JER: Well, you can probably help me. Natalie is the midwife who will deliver our baby in July, but before we meet with her, she asked us to send my wife Bridget's medical records. I've got the documents scanned and I just need her email address.
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: What?
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: Oh, I heard you. I just meant "what are you talking about?"
RCP: We don't have email in the hospital. Well, we have it within the hospital, but email can't go in or out.
JER: But that's... crazy.
RCP: You can send her a fax.
JER: A fax, you say. Well, maybe. But in order to find a fax machine, I might also need a time machine.
RCP: ...
JER: Okay, fine, sorry. I know the policy is not your fault. Wait, is it?
RCP: No.
JER: Okay. Thanks!
JEREMY BROOMFIELD, blogger, father-to-be
A RECEPTIONIST at Mid-Coast Hospital in Brunswick, Maine
JEREMY: Hi there, my name is Jeremy Broomfield. May I please speak to Natalie Rockwell?
RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, she's not in today. Would you like to leave a message?
JER: Well, you can probably help me. Natalie is the midwife who will deliver our baby in July, but before we meet with her, she asked us to send my wife Bridget's medical records. I've got the documents scanned and I just need her email address.
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: What?
RCP: We don't have email.
JER: Oh, I heard you. I just meant "what are you talking about?"
RCP: We don't have email in the hospital. Well, we have it within the hospital, but email can't go in or out.
JER: But that's... crazy.
RCP: You can send her a fax.
JER: A fax, you say. Well, maybe. But in order to find a fax machine, I might also need a time machine.
RCP: ...
JER: Okay, fine, sorry. I know the policy is not your fault. Wait, is it?
RCP: No.
JER: Okay. Thanks!
- END -
Below, my new fax cover sheet.
Pretty sure that's not the hospital's policy but federal policy under HIPAA.
ReplyDeleteYou put your all into everything you do.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't make fun; aside from it being rude to people who are going to help you (in a very major way), they are just choosing to use an older format--something to which you should relate right now.
ReplyDeleteHoo boy, that was funny.
ReplyDelete