All of these people know that Bridget and I do not have a baby. So why do we need baby wipes? I refuse to demonstrate my ignorance by asking. But I have some theories:
- In Africa, you are expected to wipe off other people's babies.
- Holding a baby wipe in each hand while waving your arms is an internationally-recognized distress signal.
- Storing fruit in baby wipes keeps it fresh when you have no refrigerator.
- Baby wipes are accepted as local currency in certain regions.
- You can make a delicious emergency crêpe by filling a baby wipe with hand sanitizer and malaria pills.